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Dear iPod Headphones,

I have been a proud Apple user for the past 5 years. I own an Apple laptop and have owned roughly 5 iPods throughout the course of my life. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I am fairly confident that I could not function without my iPod.

You however iPod headphones, are another story. You "buds" are essentially useless. Never mind the fact that you have an inherent life span of a gallon of milk, but you are also the perfect shape to insure that you will never fit comfortably in any human ear. I find it impossible to jog with you in my ears without the aid of either a half roll of Scotch tape or industrial strength adhesive. You jump from my head with such velocity that one would assume that my head was on fire.

Not only are you incapable of performing even the most fundamental of a headphone's responsibilities, but you also cost as much as a modestly priced bottle of Scotch. Since my tone cannot be properly conveyed through text, I will assure you that it was said in disgust.

You're a sorry excuse for an audio accessory in my opinion, and I'm afraid even your buddy the iPod makes fun of you behind your back.

Yours truly,
Criag.